I am almost done with rewatching the first 4 seasons of The Dragon Show – Last time I watched them was a few years ago. Since then I enjoyed myself a few A Song Of Ice And Fire deep dives. My most recent one had me relistening to large parts of Alt S(c)h(w)ift X’s “Game of Thrones Abriged” which is currently clocking in at 107(+) Episodes in two “seasons” AGOT and ACO(C)K, in which each episode covers one chapter. Which furthermore rekindled my spirits to actually re-read the books. Fortunately I do not have them at my current location so I don’t need to worry about actually following through with it.
collection of ideas:
- Animated series where every episode starts and ends on the train where the protagonist sits on the train looking through the window onto the city at night or the city concealed by fog in the morning – The contents of each episode would be following the protagonist around throughout the day until the end of the shift.
- Animated series where the protagonist lives in a train, travels around through the land, exploring abandoned cities and scavanging for a living. Getting to know other survivors making connections and eventually being able to face their fears and being able to settle down – steampunk-ish post apocalyptic earth – Three parts, trying to cope by fixing the train and maybe being able to live happily unattached; The adventure itself, living on rails for years after being able to relearn making connections; part three: coming to terms with their humanity; Happy sometimes but it is still worth living all the time
The following (including the self narration) can be taken as a transcript of my brain.
Being infatuated with someone is the name we have given to the physiological phenomen of being overwhelmed by anotherones presence, meant in the most neutral sense of the word. For a short moment in time all that matters vanishes into insignificance and the default settings of persception dissolve. The Brain adapts to what ever impulses led to that result and manages to comprehend every time. Until the significant other becomes an-other.
Or atleast thats a widely depicted version of what romantic relationships are.
Self-critical comment -> coping -> insecurities
I just had this thought and analyzied where it came from. To a certain degree I had fun typing out the introduction because i thought I felt it for a second.
The reason why I am trying to write like I planned this out is because I believe it is expected of me. I feel like I have to do what is expected of me to be liked and I want to be liked.
I wonder what that says about my brain – was my initial thought but the phrasing emphasizes the separation of the physical human body and the cognitive experiencing part. [The Body as the data measuring instrument and GPU. Perception, interpretation of measurements and images takes place on the same hardware but the program and the one using the program is what has been called the soul.]
I should sleep
I laid in bed trying to sleep and listening to my thoughts (language!(why do I make editorial notes to my own thoughts and which(?) or who(?) is listening)) and waited 5 minutes and decided to write the thought down I had in the moment. It felt like limiting my thinking speed to my typing speed. Or as if my mind is a monitor with 144Hz but my GPU only manages to put out 60 frames per second
Maybe thats what a mind should feel like
I should really sleep
All the people I imagine in a positive context or one disproven by personal experience or percieved personal experience are white. That is the result of modern structural racism
Carefully selected 10 minutes of additional entertainment
Great writeup! I am in dire need of ACOK right now
Just smoked, read this and will need to smoke again and maybe read it again. Lots of love.